Saturday, April 28, 2018

The Michigan Movie Guy's Top 10 Worst Films of 2017

While there were a vast amount of great films in 2017, there were a huge amount of truly awful films. I saw enough bad 2017 releases to warrant a list for the worst films of that year.

(Note: You may be surprised to not see Mother! on this list, as I feel that it's what I would consider to be the "worst" best film I've seen, as it does have some great filmmaking merits, but is still awful nonetheless. Also, it's not really meant for lists like these, as films like Mother! are too transcendent for them).

(Added note: most of the films on this list will have links to my reviews of them. However, some will not, as I did not see them in theaters).

10. Happy End

This film dragged on & on & on, with nothing of note occurring during its runtime. It tragically wastes Isabelle Huppert, is inconsistently directed, & poorly edited (& by that, I mean lack of edits, which this film has. Although I love one-take sequences, something has to happen in them, even just as much as simple dialogue, which doesn't occur in the vast majority of the one-take sequences). My review can be found here.

9. Baywatch

I will admit: I did like this film when it came out. But tastes change. My score of this film gradually dropped over the past 11 months, & I now realize it's terribly unfunny, horrendously edited, & a total mess. I have reflected those changes in my review, which you can find here.

8. Power Rangers

I didn't see this in theaters, but I'm glad I didn't. This is a terribly directed, thinly written & horribly edited film that also manages to have the worst villain of any film in 2017 (yes, even worse than Steppenwolf in Justice League).

7. Suburbicon

How could a film with such great talent on both sides of the camera fail so miserably? The answer: unfunny dark comedy, a bait-&-switch from the trailer to the film, & the decision to add a politically relevant subplot. My review can be found here.

6. The Boss Baby

You're telling me this movie actually got an Oscar nomination for Best Animated Feature over The LEGO Batman Movie? Really? The Academy must have had a bad acid trip then, because this terribly unfunny film (which I'm glad I didn't see in theaters) has no business near any award show. Except the Razzies.

5. The Circle

How could James Ponsoldt go from The Spectacular Now (which is in my top 3 of all time) & The End of the Tour (which was one of the best films of 2015 & a film that I need to rewatch), to this poorly adapted misfire? I don't know. All I know is Bill Paxton should've had a better final film. My review can be found here.

4. Song to Song

I didn't see this in theaters, but I made the mistake of purchasing this film on 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray before I watched it. Nothing goes on in this film, except for the characters playfully touching each other, along with pseudo-intellectual voiceovers. Terrence Malick, next time you make a film, actually write a script.

3. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

If it weren't for a 60-year-old woman inexplicably seeing this by herself, me & my best friend would've roasted the hell out of this movie in the theater. It's one of the grossest excuses for family films ever, terribly directed, & above all else, gets meme culture terribly wrong. More of my criticisms of the film can be found in my review here. (Also, #NotMyRodrick).

2. The Snowman

Outside of the meme of a poster above (& Michael Fassbender's character's name, Harry Hole), nothing good came from this film. This was absolutely boring, & the fact that 15% of the script wasn't even shot didn't help at all. Also, Val Kilmer's appearance in this film is absolutely bizarre, & J.K. Simmons's Norwegian accent is absolutely distracting.

1. The Book of Henry

I'm definitely glad that Colin Trevorrow got removed as director for Star Wars: Episode IX, because if he did to that film what he did here, I would've been enormously mad. This was (by far) the worst film of 2017, featuring tonally inconsistent direction, a distractingly terrible & borderline disturbing performance from Sarah Silverman, an awful script that made Naomi Watts & Jacob Tremblay give bad performances, & the worst plot twist in all of film history. Nothing about this film could ever make sense, no matter how much anyone tries to tell me. My review can be found here.

Well, that's my list of the worst films of the year. I promise I'll lift your hopes up with my list of the Top 25 Best Films of 2017.

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