Wednesday, August 3, 2016

The Lobster

★★★★★ - A Review by Cameron Kanachki

"Because lobsters live for over 100 years, are blue-blooded like aristocrats, & they stay fertile all their lives." That's a hilariously detailed quote from Colin Farrell in The Lobster, the best film of the year & certainly the weirdest film I've ever seen. Farrell plays David, a man whose wife has just left him. The thing is, in his society, he can't be single; in fact, no one can. Because he is now single, he is taken to a hotel, where he has 45 days to find a partner whom he shares a major characteristic with, or else, he will be turned into an animal. (I know, I was just as shocked as you are right now. It's definitely odd, am I right?) David has brought his brother with him, who was turned into a dog some years prior. The hotel has many odd rules: masturbation is banned (the punishment is having your hand put in a toaster), but sexual stimulation by the Maid (played by Ariane Labed) is mandatory, guests view events promoting relationships, & they also go on hunts led by the Hotel Manager (played by Olivia Colman) for the Loners that live in The Woods; every Loner tranquilized extends your stay by one day. David's choice of animal is a lobster, for they have a long life span, they're blue blooded, & they're always fertile.

While at the hotel, David meets a Lisping Man (played by John C. Reilly), a Limping Man (played by Ben Whishaw), a Nosebleed Woman (played by Jessica Barden), a Biscuit Woman (played by Ashley Jensen), & a Heartless Woman (played by Angeliki Papoulia), notorious for her cruelty & her ability to tranquilize many Loners. While the Lisping Man & the Nosebleed Woman fall in love, David decides to go after the Heartless Woman, but that falls apart quickly due to a horrific incident.

Fed up with the hotel, David escapes & goes to The Woods & becomes a Loner, & meets a Short-Sighted Woman (played by Rachel Weisz), & the Loner Leader (played by Léa Seydoux). The Loners have equally screwed-up rules, namely stating that all romantic & sexual relations are banned (the punishment is the Red Kiss, where your lips are cut off & you are forced to kiss. A Red Intercourse is also mentioned, but not described as what occurs, but you get the idea). Eventually, David & the Short-Sighted Woman fall in love, & they must find out how to work their relationship out, as they must become totally synchronized.

This film was weird, romantic, dark, hilarious, disturbing & excellent. The entire cast was excellent, especially Farrell & Weisz. The direction from Greek filmmaker Yorgos Lanthimos was brilliant, considering that this is his first English-language film. The screenplay from Lanthimos & Efthymis Filippou is brilliant as well, & is definitely the best original screenplay of the decade so far. The editing from Yorgos Mavropsaridis is excellent. The cinematography from Thimios Bakatakis is excellent as well. And the soundtrack, filled with classical music, is astounding.

This is definitely a major satire of the 21st-century dating sites, such as, e-Harmony, & Tinder, who all try to find the perfect match for us all. There definitely won't be a film like this ever again, & nothing will top this movie for the rest of the year. It truly is the best film of 2016. It was definitely the weirdest movie I've ever seen. The film felt like David Lynch, Lars von Trier, Wes Anderson & Stanley Kubrick teamed up & made a romantic sci-fi dark comedy. But did I enjoy all 118 minutes of it? Indubitably.

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